IF bottled

I was thinking what would be the things that I would love to have bottled, so I can use them any time to make a cocktail that suits my mood. I wanted to bottle my cat and my dog, they always make me happy and giggly, but drawing them in a bottle seemed a bit macabre, so I went for the approach that's a bit more... conceptual.

cat frenzy

I've been drawing cats all day today.

I like best the very first one I drew, of course. 

And the weird things is: I started thinking about dogs very soon after I stared drawing cats. But I didn't let myself get carried away. I continued drawing cats. 

Then!

I wanted to draw raccoons.

I'll be drawing raccoons tomorrow, unless I change my mind, in which case, I might draw bugs, or elephants or armadillos... but one thing is certain... I'll want to draw anything but raccoons less than an hour after I start drawing them.

When I completely commit to doing one single thing, I get amazing (perfectly unrelated) creative ideas, and then all those ideas just go to waste, and leave me thinking I'll never have any new creative thought ever again. 

And then! ........ I get an amazing idea! 

... at about half past 11 (at night)

... and I stay up, happy happy, completely forgetting about time, till everything I see becomes a white smudge created by my lamp light mixing with beautiful colours of sunrise, so I go to bed, get up 3 hours latter, spend all day with metallic taste in my mouth, trying to pretend I had a long night's sleep... and I'm dead at 10 in the evening, and just before I fall asleep, some amazing idea violates my serene tiredness... and I can't do anything, too tired, and I can't sleep... the majestic birth of insomnia.

I hope one day I'll master the skill of writing down those misbehaved ideas, as notes, for future me to criticize them and discover that they weren't really that great.

tagged

I have been tagged by amazing @Heidi M (do visit her blog, it’s lovely)
so that you can learn a little more about me, so here goes.

Three names I go by:

Maja (lleft) and Simon (right)

     Tanya, which is an abbreviation of my long name that my parents used to call me only when they were cross. I still cringe when I hear it.
     Meow… my cat insists on calling me that.
     Maja… my dog’s name, people who walk their dogs with me call me that, and that’s cool, because it gives me an excuse to call them by their dogs’ names, so some ladies are called Hogarth, Ben, Sima, Bonny, and some gentlemen Mimi, Peggy, Sofia…

Three places I’ve lived:
     Belgrade full stop... I've always lived here.

Serious mess

Three places I’ve worked:
     a bookstore… I’m addicted to books. I needed a just reason to hang around books all the time and I even miss that job… a little… well… not really, now I enjoy buying books instead :D
     a basement... screen printing... that was FUN!
     home… translating, writing scripts for TV, designing, drawing……..
Three things I love to watch:
     gray sky (it smells sweet)
     my cat and dog doing absolutely anything
     people totally focused on doing something, so much that they completely stop being aware of anything around them… you know that moment .. when you bite your tongue…

Herceg Novi

Three places I’ve been and loved:
     Berlin. I fell in love with that city.
     Barcelona
     Herceg Novi
Three people who email me regularly:
     People I work with… all of them… I don’t like writing e-mails
Three things I love to eat:
     cakes, any homemade cakes, any time
     Grana Padano cheese
     almonds, blanched and toasted
Three things I’m looking forward to:
    change
    drawing
    reading some books
The three people I’m tagging in this meme:
@GenieEspinosa ...blog:  TrouvezLeLapin
@DianaDelosh ...blog: TheHareIllustratere
@BrownPaperBunny ...blog: BrownPaperbunny

unorthodox taste

I gave up on buying
                    fluffy furry toy-mice,
                    or flashing balls,
                    or feathery tails hanging on elastic stings attached to specially customized planks of wood...

This is THE ULTIMATE TOY!

If you are a cat minder (well, a slave, to be more accurate, but a happy happy slave),
I'm sure you know exactly what I'm talking about.
If it was available in toy stores (to buy, not given as a bonus item with anything BIG)
it would probably be called something like:
                   Magic Transforming Exclusive Supersonic lux-Cardboard Cave-Box.

Magic Transforming Exclusive Supersonic lux-Cardboard Cave-Box

portrait of a lady

Lady Badger

Lady Badger saw the Bear Girl portrait, and to my amazement and joy, she liked it and showed interest in having one painted as well. It was wonderfully that she agreed to sit for me patiently for more than an hour, and she didn't hold back words of praise when she saw it finished. She's too kind and supportive. I feel so privileged, and I do hope she really liked it.

a bear girl

Bear Girl

My sketchbook is getting filled up with portraits of members of a family I've never really met... they came there completely uninvited, but they're too adorable, and I can't ask them to leave, but I do hope they'll let me do the the things I planed to do... some time soon.

dream catcher

another doodle from my sketchbook

Dream catcher

city scape

This drawing is my ode to procrastination.
I was supposed to be drawing something completely different!
... that's whyyy... well ...
I pretended I wasn't there.

-Hello! Tanya is not home at the moment. Leave a message, and she'll call you when she grows up and starts acting responsibly.
Until then, you might want to see some other drawings. Thanks for calling, and have a nice day.

And so, just to be consistent in pretending not to be there, I drew something totally out of charter... or so I thought... 

growing up

Barrie was just a little boy, and he was already very unhappy about many things. He wanted to say things, he wanted to be heard, to change the world, but

 ... he was just a little boy!...

and nobody was paying any attention.

So, Barrie did the only thing he could do: he learned by heart bits and parts from well know plays, especially Hamlet because... well... who would dare question or criticize Shakespeare... and it just happened that Shakespeare had already written many things Barrie wanted to say. Then, he set up a stage and performed so well that everyone listened, applauded and nodded their heads recognizing a huge potential in Barrie:

"He is certainly going to become a great actor"

That was the general conclusion. 

Well...
Barrie never became an actor.
He became an author, but he never forgot how powerful the sound of human voice can be.

These days, Barrie writes theater plays and lets other people go on stage to stir up our feelings and carve our thoughts using Barrie's words as tools.

IF stir

terribly late

Where I am, Friday is over, and I am posting last week's IllustrationFriday drawing.
I had this idea in my head ever since I first heard what the topic was, but I didn't have time to actually do it, so ... here it is ...

 IF warning

I'm being pretty obsessed by textures lately, and I keep adding layers over layers. I might try making a collage  and then trying to paint over it. Will let you know how it goes :)

cable car

cable car - to keep #3

I guess all of us need a way to get from one place to another... that is: -if- we want to get from one place to another... but sometimes I forget why do we... wish to do that... and sometimes that's all I want to do...

city biker

city biker - to keep #2

Another illustration made for my beautiful frame, but I've already told you all about it! You know the story of it's resurrection?
I don't think this drawing will get to be there way too long, I already hate it, but I've also thrown away more than a dozen finished drawings these last few days, and that's my quota for the week.

#2 to keep - city biker ... in the frame

Follow my blog with bloglovin

a harbour, a flock of seagulls

This is the first, of soon to be 15 drawings inspired by a wonderful book for children: "The story of a Seagull and the Cat who taught her to fly" by Luis Sepúlveda.

I have one pretty nasty habit: I tend to tear up most of my drawings if I don't let anyone see them right after I finish them. I guess if I put them away for a couple of days, when I go back to them all I see are flaws and mistakes.
Of course, I'm not saying that I hope some day to make a  perfect drawing, because that drawing wold be perfectly boring!

for me, with love

A few months ago I found an old framed embroidery in an open market, and I bought it for practically nothing (I think it was about 2€) but it was completely faded and eaten by moths. I wish I could say I’m some expert in bringing amazing art back to life, and that this embroidery was some super valuable piece … but I’m not, and I’m sure that the embroidery was made by some amateur who wasn’t even very dedicated, because it wasn’t too neat, or too complicated …
My motive for buying it was far less noble:

I wanted the frame!!!

I loved everything about it… except the colour. I wish I had taken photos. It was brown, painted black on the back, and when I started washing it, I discovered that the black paint was just an impermanent water based pigment (I’m glad I didn’t put that on my delicate white wallpapers), and the brown front wasn’t dark brown, but vibrant burgundy red, but I didn’t like that any better than the brown.
Once the frame was washed and well dried, I painted it white (of course), sprayed it with transparent acrylic matting emulsion, fell in love with it, completely… and then… I didn’t know what to do with it…

I put it on the wall as it was. Empty. I never made a drawing small enough to fit in it, so last night, after months of procrastination, I decided to give it a go.

It felt weird!

#1 to keep - dandelions

I never drew anything having a clear idea in my mind that I was doing it for myself, to be put on my wall, where I live, to be looked at, and not given away, or put in a filer, or hidden between covers of a sketchbook… Argh!
I got nervous!
And then blocked…

I don’t know about you, but I am my own very worst critic, and a very demanding client!
In order to actually move, and do something, I cut 10 sheets of paper that would fit, then I told myself:

OK, you don’t have to marry one drawing, make it a one-a-day slideshow, and chuck the ones that start to irritate you, it’s OK, I/you won’t take it personally. (that's sane me talking to panicking me)

That is how my own “to keep” #1 emerged from struggles of self-doubting and a desire to create, with insomnia as my faithful backup support, as always.

#1 to keep - dandelions ... in the frame

change of perspective

I tried to do draw, but it didn't go well. I tried to focus, and do one thing, but these days the twirl of feelings and thoughts keeps throwing me into a maze of undefined ... everything... so I drew everything... one on top of the other... a layer of a cold winter's day upon a layer of sunshine, upon a layer of friendship, upon a layer of sadness, upon a layer of warmth, upon a layer of gratitude... and I wish it could end, but it never does.

illustration friday: layer

portrait of an artist

I'm not terribly good at this, but! ... I'll say one thing in my defense: it's not easy to draw someone you know a bit about, but don't really know at all.
Well, Miguel, I really hope you won't be offended by this petty attempt to portrait you. 

soft spot

This week's IF topic is sweater, and when I see that word ... sweater ... all I can think of is some warm and cuddly and cozy feeling.
I hope this doesn't trigger some "animals in sweaters" frenzy but I've already started sketching my cat in a sweater, and my dog in a sweater and them together in one sweater...

as long as you're having fun

Well, OK ... I did it ... I did that drawing, finally! But the " clown" won anyway, because I was late.

I'm looking at this silly picture and trying to persuade myself that I hadn't become a cynic.

Here, some ridiculously stupid looking smiling hearts, just to prove I can do that too.

Clown versus Human (impatience) valentine fight

I had an idea. I was pretty excited about it; so I started sketching, aaaaand ... it turned out to be quite difficult and demanding (I was NOT happy with the sketches) ... soooo ... my problem-solving brain cells (that I'm generally proud of) started producing an involuntary thought (that I wasn't proud of at all): chuck it! ... pretend it was never there! think of something ... easier ... easier is always better... I had to get up and do something to stop myself... and this is my fight! I will create a proper drawing based on these sketches ... next year ... no! not next year ... tomorrow!

joggling with hearts because it feels nice when they drop in her hands
they are soft, and warm, and fit perfectly

Mr Horse is all about elegance

This is my first ever Monday Artday illustration. I'm still working on the previous challenge (strange food), but when I saw this "I dare you" topic:

Horse With Hands Riding A Bike
A horse is difficult to draw.
Hands are difficult to draw.
Bicycles are difficult to draw.
So to draw all three is just cussing mind blowing.

so they say, ha! (say I, in my "bring it on" voice)

I simply had had had to draw it.
And I did.
And here he is ... in his full glory :)
And he looks great on my desk!
And I'm obviously too much into animals on bikes. There was an elephant, now it's this gentleman, so I guess it's time for a squirl? or a camel? or a bear ... or maybe I should draw a forest bike race!