for me, with love

A few months ago I found an old framed embroidery in an open market, and I bought it for practically nothing (I think it was about 2€) but it was completely faded and eaten by moths. I wish I could say I’m some expert in bringing amazing art back to life, and that this embroidery was some super valuable piece … but I’m not, and I’m sure that the embroidery was made by some amateur who wasn’t even very dedicated, because it wasn’t too neat, or too complicated …
My motive for buying it was far less noble:

I wanted the frame!!!

I loved everything about it… except the colour. I wish I had taken photos. It was brown, painted black on the back, and when I started washing it, I discovered that the black paint was just an impermanent water based pigment (I’m glad I didn’t put that on my delicate white wallpapers), and the brown front wasn’t dark brown, but vibrant burgundy red, but I didn’t like that any better than the brown.
Once the frame was washed and well dried, I painted it white (of course), sprayed it with transparent acrylic matting emulsion, fell in love with it, completely… and then… I didn’t know what to do with it…

I put it on the wall as it was. Empty. I never made a drawing small enough to fit in it, so last night, after months of procrastination, I decided to give it a go.

It felt weird!

#1 to keep - dandelions

I never drew anything having a clear idea in my mind that I was doing it for myself, to be put on my wall, where I live, to be looked at, and not given away, or put in a filer, or hidden between covers of a sketchbook… Argh!
I got nervous!
And then blocked…

I don’t know about you, but I am my own very worst critic, and a very demanding client!
In order to actually move, and do something, I cut 10 sheets of paper that would fit, then I told myself:

OK, you don’t have to marry one drawing, make it a one-a-day slideshow, and chuck the ones that start to irritate you, it’s OK, I/you won’t take it personally. (that's sane me talking to panicking me)

That is how my own “to keep” #1 emerged from struggles of self-doubting and a desire to create, with insomnia as my faithful backup support, as always.

#1 to keep - dandelions ... in the frame